A letter to my second baby

There are many positives I can share with you about being the second-born in the family, like how you are being cared for by a pro mom who won’t let you fall off the bed like she did with her first baby. Or how I think I got this parenting thing under control and won’t put you in a bubble. Instead, I let you cry it out and “be independent” so you can spend an undisclosed amount of time fending for yourself in the crib while I’m potty training your brother, or cleaning the house, or just staring in the air thinking about how protective I was with your older brother and how much better I am at raising you. I’m kidding. But seriously, there are many benefits to being the second baby. When you’re older and feel like I’m constantly comparing you to your brother, just know that it’s all for a good reason, I promise. For example, right now, when I compare you to your brother, I do it to contextualize your growth.

One of the things I love the most about caring for you as a second-time mom is that I am able to enjoy every one of your milestones and appreciate each moment in a way I couldn’t do before. The confidence that comes with doing something for the second time allows you to have a clearer vision, one that is less clouded with self-doubt and fear of judgment. Rather than rushing to see the next stage of your development (think: “Oooh, I can’t wait for baby to take his first step,” or “I can’t wait for baby to utter his first words”), I now know better to be patient, for these moments go by faster than I can document them. That is why every night before I put you in your crib, I hold you extra hard and kiss you one more time on your perfectly shaped head. I hold you tight hoping to stop, even if for one second, the moment in time when everything is quiet and you are perfectly safe in my arms.

Before you were born, I asked my mami if it was really true that she loves her three children equally. “Did you love my sister a little less when I was born? Do you love my brother more because he’s your only boy?” And she simply said, “I love all three of you equally. I just love each of you differently.” And she was right (mamis are always right). I might compare you to your brother in your development, your personality, and many more things. But I will never compare my love for you and your brother, because I love you both infinitely. The bond that I have with you as my second-born son is unique, and it is what makes my love for you different. The times that you have my undivided attention may feel like few and far in-between, but there is no gap in my mind nor my heart, not a second passes by that I’m not thinking about you. You rocked my world from the very first moment I laid eyes on you.



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